There are situations which seem quite pleasant as if floating on a cloud, like a dream so light in weight that a touch of it seems like a feather soft to grasp. A feeling that is hard to sink in, something undefined and unexplained is what probably one can describe it as. Rejuvenated temperament coupled with a sense of totally unprecedented self consciousness, an unknown, unbiased and an untouched state of mind far away from the reach of anything worldly. What it is that i speak of, what can it possibly be? It is a mystery a kind of dilemma that was thrown upon me by someone who was enchanted by the idea of freedom but did not know its way around.
On an average day, we are frequently being surrounded by issues questioning our state of mind, or whether we can survive the tides that challenge us. Its those moments where we always get alone and try and figure out ways to battle with our own thoughts. Mostly we end up raising more questions than answering the already raised. Hence a feeling of restlessness follows us in whatever we do the following day. They are ambitious, they want the best from life and most of the times unwilling to compromise. They are innocent, they are childish, most often it appears to me that they are confused. An illusion that they provide is far deeper from what they actually tend to be. A curious case of someone i talk of, not a mysterious person but someone who gives the illusion of a mysterious person. It is when one cannot let go of themselves, and they themselves are always finding the reason for the same.
Just a few days back, i happened to finish a great work of fiction by Rabindranath Tagore. Farewell Song translated in english from the original bengali version written by the writer himself by Radha Chakravarty. Dualities are in fact the defining feature of the novel’s construction. The protagonist Amit Raye happens to be an embodiment of this inner conflict, of a person who has a double vision and himself unsure of his mental definition of freedom. He feels liberated when he argues against the famous and celebrated people of the era to which Tagore belonged. He hated Tagore’s work simply because of the very fact that his shelf-life knew no bounds as was his way with his ideology of the self and the society. He did feel that in contrast to Tagore there are writers who can do a better job and he was always on the look out to prove this fact. Later he was even convinced of the fact that tragedy of love occurs whenever people fail to accept their mutual independence, when they impose their will unjustly on others, when they imagine that we can change people, re-create them to suit our own desires. A similar complicated dilemma faced by the protagonist’s love interest in the novel Labanya, infuses a certain sense of sober dignity in her at the same time leaves her mind as a lone wanderer on the path full of love in Amit’s world. In fact the union of Amit and Labanya was always a dream a beautiful dream, which was pure in its nature and the best way to restore this special bond was to leave it as a dream, which means in reality there alliance never happened.
In other words, this particular dilemma can be otherwise called, Anhedonia which is a psychoanalytic term for the inability to experience pleasure from normally pleasurable life events. Most certainly it does happens in real life quite rarely, but this phenomenon was beautifully captured by an amazing romantic comedy film by Woody Allen, Annie Hall. It does comes back to me as a haunting question, a question about the different facets of freedom, according to different people, Intertwined inextricably in a world of innumerable complexities, does one find freedom at any point so amusing enough to rest in peace? Freedom is not a condition, it is a possibility of minds wandering aimlessly searching for the reason that is the closest explanation to one’s dilemma’s. We all are bound by a certain dilemma, that is a trap in disguise which leads us away from freedom. A battle of thoughts in the mind can be dangerous than the most vicious physical battle one may encounter.
The inability to search for contentment, may not necessarily be equated with one’s capability of achieving what one desires. It is a matter of knowing oneself, knowing what one cannot achieve and what needs to be done so as to achieve that undenied state of ultimate freedom. As for the mysterious someone i was talking about throughout the length of this tale, the person is someone who may actually be related with a squirrel and its sense of freedom. As to how that happens it is predominant not to overlook the way a squirrel carries itself. In a recent youtube video a squirrel outwitted a speeding lamborghini, well it is a rage now. But this is how the squirrel’s have been. This particular species are blessed with a speed that allows them to escape situations, situations they do not prefer to be in. It is just a matter of fact that i see them as a hint from the nature as to how freedom could be defined, similarly there are many hints out there coming from the nature, the question is what is it that appeals to us? So just like the squirrel, speed away from the situations which you do not want to be in, and due to its size as well, it mostly doesn’t gets in trouble as it always avoids them, basically which means bigger you are or get, trouble follows you. So small? as in not appearance but in the eyes of trouble so as to escape them. The simplest of the simple things in life sometimes answers the most mammoth of questions that snatch our freedom. So next time you see a squirrel, you shall see it with some sense of respect maybe and a feeling that indeed, if the squirrel can be so smart enough in defining its own freedom out of situations which it doesn’t gets embroiled in, why can’t i be able to dodge troubled state of mind and define my own freedom, why not?