Musings of a Lonely Heart…


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I look back to that beautiful day,

When my dad gave my hand away,

To a man who seemed worthy of me,

To a family who like angels seemed.

 

I look back to that day and now,

Wonder what i fool i was,

I believed their promises to be true,

Looked forward to life, never to be blue.

 

i said goodbye to my parents,

Without realizing how much i’d miss them,

T look back to that day and now,

Wonder what happened to all that glow.

 

Cant seem to remember the careless laughter,

Or the light bantering i enjoyed,

That unflinching love i gave to his parents,

Why has it turned to indifference?

 

I thought they loved me too, but it is not so,

Where did i go wrong i do not know,

I ask myself and wonder why

They behave the way they do.

 

I’m just a girl who wants to love others,

Spread joy and happiness,

I admit there’s a lot I do not know,

But you must give me time to learn!

 

Why can’t you be patient and wait for me,

Wouldn’t you do the same for your daughter?

I beseech you, please don’t compare me to others,

If you liked them better, why did you choose me?

 

Every girl is different, as are her habits,

But if my heart is in the right place,

Can’t you just be patient and help me walk

This path that’s new to me and confusing?

 

How to handle studies along with work,

Juggling time for chores and for husband?

For a girl who’s never had to balance anything before,

You must understand that it is tough on her.

 

Try to think about all the promises you made,

To my parents on that wedding day…

You called me your daughter, said you loved,

I need your support to get a grasp on life again.

 

I didn’t get married to hurt you or myself,

Or to let my parents weep and regret.

I came here to make a home with you,

To be a family, forever happy and true.

 

If i could make a wish upon a star,

And have it honestly fulfilled,

I can’t ask for anything more, than just,

Rewind the time a year backwards.

 

For i cannot bear to see anyone in pain,

Or in sorrow, worry or grief,

Especially when they believe the cause is me,

I’d rather cease to exist.

 

If only you could sit and listen to me,

Like a mother to her daughter,

None of us would ever hurt the other,

Because there would be nothing to misunderstand.

 

But you prefer not to talk to me,

And so all the blame i must bear,

Struggle I have, and struggle i will,

Because i love your son dearly and care.

 

It pains me to see that try i may,

You are just not willing to see,

In your stubbornness and self-pity,

You are losing a daughter, a friend who could be.

 

And here i thought i was

Coming home to not just a husband,

But a mother and a father to love,

That i wasn’t leaving my parents,

But coming to a brand new family.

 

And seeing that there is no point in writing,

For those i am reaching to would never see it,

I shall stop my ranting right now and here,

And hope my writing helps another life.

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3 comments

  1. Arisa · January 24, 2015

    Reblogged this on Arisa's Blog and commented:
    Beautiful poem, makes me think of an Indian character from a book who had an arranged marriage and her life and troubles living with her in-laws.

    Arisa

  2. animate7 · May 11, 2014

    Amit, I was reading that post on Daughter Diaries…

    It inspired me to come up with this poem. It was spontaneous writing and I did not even do any editing.

    I know its not up to the mark of quality poetry, but i felt a certain rawness that i wanted to convey.

    well, the rest is for the readers to decide how my writing fares ^_^

    • Arisa · January 24, 2015

      Absolutely beautiful! I felt the rawness… I could feel the emotions. Thanks you!

      Arisa

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