Musings of a Lonely Heart…


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I look back to that beautiful day,

When my dad gave my hand away,

To a man who seemed worthy of me,

To a family who like angels seemed.

 

I look back to that day and now,

Wonder what i fool i was,

I believed their promises to be true,

Looked forward to life, never to be blue.

 

i said goodbye to my parents,

Without realizing how much i’d miss them,

T look back to that day and now,

Wonder what happened to all that glow.

 

Cant seem to remember the careless laughter,

Or the light bantering i enjoyed,

That unflinching love i gave to his parents,

Why has it turned to indifference?

 

I thought they loved me too, but it is not so,

Where did i go wrong i do not know,

I ask myself and wonder why

They behave the way they do.

 

I’m just a girl who wants to love others,

Spread joy and happiness,

I admit there’s a lot I do not know,

But you must give me time to learn!

 

Why can’t you be patient and wait for me,

Wouldn’t you do the same for your daughter?

I beseech you, please don’t compare me to others,

If you liked them better, why did you choose me?

 

Every girl is different, as are her habits,

But if my heart is in the right place,

Can’t you just be patient and help me walk

This path that’s new to me and confusing?

 

How to handle studies along with work,

Juggling time for chores and for husband?

For a girl who’s never had to balance anything before,

You must understand that it is tough on her.

 

Try to think about all the promises you made,

To my parents on that wedding day…

You called me your daughter, said you loved,

I need your support to get a grasp on life again.

 

I didn’t get married to hurt you or myself,

Or to let my parents weep and regret.

I came here to make a home with you,

To be a family, forever happy and true.

 

If i could make a wish upon a star,

And have it honestly fulfilled,

I can’t ask for anything more, than just,

Rewind the time a year backwards.

 

For i cannot bear to see anyone in pain,

Or in sorrow, worry or grief,

Especially when they believe the cause is me,

I’d rather cease to exist.

 

If only you could sit and listen to me,

Like a mother to her daughter,

None of us would ever hurt the other,

Because there would be nothing to misunderstand.

 

But you prefer not to talk to me,

And so all the blame i must bear,

Struggle I have, and struggle i will,

Because i love your son dearly and care.

 

It pains me to see that try i may,

You are just not willing to see,

In your stubbornness and self-pity,

You are losing a daughter, a friend who could be.

 

And here i thought i was

Coming home to not just a husband,

But a mother and a father to love,

That i wasn’t leaving my parents,

But coming to a brand new family.

 

And seeing that there is no point in writing,

For those i am reaching to would never see it,

I shall stop my ranting right now and here,

And hope my writing helps another life.

To Rewind Time….


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What wouldn’t I give to rewind time?

            To rewrite a few years of my life?

To erase the mistakes of my past?

            To rethink the decisions that did not last?

Why do we possess excellent hindsight?

            But lack in far more important foresight?

Impulsiveness works on simple decisions,

            Why do we mess up the important ones?

When reality comes crashing and you stand still,

            That’s when regrets start making their kill.

Regrets for the things we did and those we didn’t,

            For everything we thought would work but didn’t.

Worries of the future and remorse for the past,

            Loss of faith and hope tear us apart;

They weaken our resolves and try our patience,

            And strip us of our only armor, our confidence.

So what do we do? How do we cope?

            Is it too shocking that we would sell our souls?

For a chance to change our lives, to rework our frame,

            To make the right decisions, to live life again?

How do we find the courage to hope for the best?

            When the future is bleak and existence is a stress?

When courage fails and death attracts us more,

            Who can we turn to, for hope and support?

Unhappy and suffering from the pangs of life,

            An existence full of gloom and sacrifice;

That’s the moment when our eyes close in prayer,

            Our heads bow down and beg Him to deliver.

Because, when all is lost and nothing remains the same,

            The only constant support in life is God’s Name.

Farewell…


FAREWELL

The coffin’s here, I’m leaving today,

Goodbyes are said, I’m on my way…

The priest is here, the car is waiting downstairs,

My crypt is ready, for my stay.

The sun is warm, on my skin so cold now,

The dusk is nearing, the passing of a storm.

Everyone’s been weeping for far too long,

Its time for closure, time for moving on…

I see you huddled, in the corner of our house,

I hear your tears, as they fall like pearls to the ground.

Time for me, has been frozen since today’s dawn,

If granted one wish, I’d ask for it to be turned around.

I saw you in a dream, and you walked into my life,

And I found everything, answers to all my strife.

My life with you was as beautiful as a song,

My heart itches to beat, to the rhythm of your sound.

The car is stopping; I am being carried out,

My resting place, I hear it beckoning me on…

I’m finally heading home, but don’t let go,

Hold me to your heart, forever hold me close.

Like the sun, the living world slips out of my reach,

It is a place, a life, I can never again breach.

The living souls must walk on, as must the dead,

The eternal sleep awaiting me is on a lonely bed…

The rays are feeble, the warm light has gone,

The twilight’s slipping in, as you lower me down.

Like the moon, darkness enshrouds me now,

I’m going to miss you, miss all we had, and every vow.

Lean to me, let me breathe you my goodbye kiss,

This is my farewell, my love, my darling dearest.

Our House Below


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OczcAaZszHA

This song is performed by Cecile Corbel and appears on the album The Borrower Arrietty (2010).

When I heard this song for the first time, I had just one thought in my mind — every child born in this world should be able to sing a song like this – where everything is happy and wonderful and pleasant, where the parents are loving and kind, where there are no quarrels in the household to trouble the child’s mind, a childhood full of love and care and trust.

Lyrics:

Supper is done and night has come
My father worked hard all day long
Let’s have tea together near the fireplace
And talk for hours

My house, my home
Is so small, so pretty
My mom, my dad
We are family
Joy everywhere
Memories
In the house I adore

Mama hangs a picture on the wall
It’s time to sleep and daddy yawns
Let’s have tea together near the fireplace
And talk for hours

My house, my home
Is so small, so pretty
My mom, my dad
We are family
Joy everywhere
Memories
In the house I adore

My house, my home
Is so small, so pretty
My mom, my dad
We are family
Joy everywhere
Memories
In the house I adore…

^_^ This soundtrack might be from a fairytale story, but what’s stopping us from doing the best we can to create a home so beautiful for those we love, right? ^_^

The Neglected Garden…


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nlZ7tbefwg

From the Japanese animated movie – “THE BORROWERS ARRIETTY”

Written by: Hayao Miyazaki & Keiko Niwa, based on the 1953 children’s book by Mary Norton about a young borrower – a race of tiny people who live hidden from the human race and “borrow” unneeded food and utilities from their hosts – who befriends a human called Shô when he moves into the house under which Arrietty’s family live.

Shô’s nanny Haru treats the borrowers as vermin and attempts to find and destroy them, while Shô simultaneously attempts to befriend the human-averse borrowers and save them from the many perils which threaten their tiny lives.

Presented from the point of a view of a borrower 10cm tall interacting with a human-sized world, Arrietty‘s wondrous settings fill you with an indescribable sense of awe, from the wide expanses of a garden in which small puddles are lakes and a leaf makes the perfect umbrella to the borrowers’ house peppered with re-purposed human objects and dollhouse furniture.

Every hand-painted background is overflowing with striking colour and detail, the likes of which are rarely seen in these days of ever more affordable computer-generated animation, and bring to mind the ornate backgrounds and fluid character animation of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and Fantasia, which were so expensive and time-consuming to produce that they nearly put the Walt Disney Company out of business.

The movie brilliantly conveys a rather beautiful moral – “Friendship is a bond so beautiful that it can begin and survive through even the weirdest and most troublesome circumstances.”

Even thought its coming a bit late, I’d like to wish everyone a Very Happy Friendship Day! ^_^