The 'Decision' towards Happiness is the most imporant Decision of life!
She was standing still, her eyes closed. The only sound was dead silence of the night and her calm and rhythmic breathing, there was an air of comfort around her, as she took a step further towards the end of the cliff. She murmured under her silent breath, ” If there is one thing in this world that has got me falling for it head over heels is………”. She paused for a while then hissed slowly in the eerie wind that was blowing around her in that freezing night, she said “Death, i am coming for you, take me in your arms and love me forever”. She lifted a feet in mid air, one of her shoe fell from her feet and quickly disappeared in the depth of the darkness that could hardly give an idea how deep the cliff actually could be, but no doubt there won’t be any trace of anything that once descends the cliff. She opened her arms wide, opened her eyes, flashed a wide smile that hid a hint of happiness, guilt and extreme sadness, she was finally happy and was ready to take the leap of faith, hence she leapt.
24 hours ago……………..
“Ariadne! Ariadne! when would you wake up, you have been sleeping for the past 10 hours, and showed no signs of waking up, look i just cannot handle this attitude of yours, over the past few days you are just acting strange, what’s the matter, tell me….. even our sex hasn’t been that great, its almost a week we had some quality sex, are you alright” said Alexa when Ariadne had just opened her eyes and battling her eyelids to what just Alexa told her. Ariadne and Alexa were lesbian couples staying together in alexa’s apartment. They got together a month ago and moved in together on Alexa’s insistence. Initially Ariadne was a bit hesitant but she decided to take a leap of faith and entered into a relation with her boss Alexa, who was already a lesbian, unlike Ariadne who used to be striaght until one day the impossible happened.
6 months ago………….
Ariadne went into a flashback mode that transported her 6 month back, where she found herself curled up in the arms of her boyfriend. Her boyfriend looked in her eyes. Ariadne had tears in her eyes, she spoke “I am afraid……” she paused and another tear rolled down her cheeks, her boyfriend comforted her and said “What is it dear tell me, i am always there for you, you can share anything with me, i promise i can ease you out of your pain, tell me what troubles you?”. Ariadne thought for a while and looked in his eyes and found a sense of warmth and she gulped the lump in her throat and spoke, “I don’t know what you would think, but i had a troubled childhood”. Her boyfriend laughed “Is that it?, dear your childhood is gone now. Your days of happiness have begun now, enjoy this moment with me, forget the past, your present is here with me right besides me in my arms, don’t you worry sweetheart”. She controlled herself and fought a tear when she said, “but i need to tell you what happened with me in my childhood before we take this relation ahead, because the scars of what happened still troubles me, i need to get it off my chest to breathe free, i have held it inside me for a long time, because i waited for the right person to come along someday so that i could breathe my new life with him”.
10 years ago……..
Mother truly loved Ariadne a lot!
It was Ariadne’s 16th birthday. After her birthday party got over, her mother called Ariadne to her room. She said, ” Today you turned 16, it is about time you warm up for a surprise, one that you should embrace it too, one that you will accept in times to come, it is about my orientation dear”. Ariadne’s mouth was wide open on hearing the last sentence coming from her mother. Her mother continued, ” Yes dear i am a lesbian, and i am happy being one. Dear i love you a lot and want you to be my lover. As it is, it has been a long time since i had some sexual deviations. I did not know how you would react to this revelation, because i was busy enough to nurture you to become a hot and sexy girl i had always desired to spend my life happily with. Look at you, your body is so smooth with soft skin, your long silky hair, and that petite frame. I have wanted to make love to you”. Ariadne’s head was already spinning to hear that, her mother was going to get her involve in an icest just to quench her sexual thirsts. Ariadne stood there frozen, to what her mother just said. Soon she found her mother caressing her breasts, and suddenly she felt her mother’s lips over her’s. She was confused and cried at this, seeing her cry, her mother gave her a big tight hug and said, “Don’t you cry my child, it is alright.” The next day Ariadne, without informing ran away from her mother and escaped to her father, whom her mother had divorced. Her father already knew about her mother, and accepted her to stay with him, for as long as she wanted to, he was indeed supportive.
For the remainder of her life, till the day she met her boyfriend she lived with her father, who supported Ariadne in whatever way he could to help her become a dignified person she is today. He helped her overcome the terrible scars of what she had been through and somehow all her hopes which she had lost suddenly started coming back. She felt that life was becoming normal again, and when she met her boyfriend she used to forget all her troubles and enjoyed her normal life sans her mother. Things were going just fine with her and suddenly it took a turn for the worse. The day when she decided to tell her boyfriend about her mother, she told all that had happened and in return expected a comforting hand over her, as she thought her boyfriend would ease her out of her pain. That was when the pain increased, his boyfriend moved a way from her, slapped her hard across her face and shouted as if he was threatened to get his gonads removed, he said “What the fuck! YOU are a lesbian and your mother as well, you cannot be normal, thankfully you told me this now, or else i would have ruined my life with a retard like you, fuck off bitch, and forget we ever met”. He stood and left Ariadne weeping on the grass. She still couldn’t believe it, and the pain just deepened within her, she thought is it so bad to be a gay?, and that too she knew she was straight but her mother. She broke from within so badly that she collapsed on the grass and fainted.
Happiness is hard to find in life, but worth to search for!
When she opened her eyes she was back at her father’s residence, where she found a diary besides her bedside table, it was open. She turned the pages and saw it was her mother’s diary and what she read was as follows
” There are reasons as to why i have been a lesbian. Even i was a straight woman , and just like a woman would have her desires i too was in search of true love from a handsome guy, but each time i thought of being normal, my mind rebelled, i was thrown back to reality that life is not what you expect from it, but what you unexpect. I know that not every man sees woman as a mere sex-object just to use and throw, but in my case there only seemed men who would just use me as an object to derive pleasure from. From the age of 10, i was privately used by my father as a whore, he would rent me to men for days and sometimes for month. one day i managed to escape away, i settled somewhere out of the town where i worked and started living a normal life. I still had the faith that i would indeed find a man someday who would actually love me for me. I was proved wrong each affair i had, then on. The men were there in my life either to fool me by false promises, fake love just to get access to my pussy. Then the love i had always desired i got it from a woman i met in Las Vegas. We became close friends and that is when i came to know who i truly was, i was so confident to be with her, and never did i felt bad whatever developed between us, i was happy and almost forgot about the past. A few months later she died of blood cancer, she had hid this fact from me. In her last breath she made me do a promise to her that i would marry her husband, who was indeed a good soul. I did accordingly and we adopted a daughter, whom we named Ariadne. Even though my husband was the best guy i happened to meet in my life, but it was already too late. I couldn’t ever give him the love that he ever deserved, because there wasn’t any love left in me to give. Our marriage was a compromise but still i will be thankful to my husband who always supported me whenever i needed him. But i learnt it from the life i had and soon i was losing control of my life, and continued being a lesbian, because i wanted to fill my life with endless love, the love that always eluded me. I divorced my husband, and looked upon my daughter whom i loved the most and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, she would be my everything, my love, my child, my lover everything, with Ariadne besides me i won’t need anybody………”
She had lost herself somewhere she couldn't find!
Tears came in her eyes as she finished reading. That is when she got awoke by Alexa again, “Ariadne! Ariadne! are you okay? why don’t you speak goddamit, tell me what’s the matter so that i can fix it, baby talk to me”. Slowly when she saw no response, Alexa planted a soft and a sensuous kiss on Ariadne’s lips and indulged in a wet kiss with her, to which suddenly Ariadne got startled and she broke off from the kiss. She said, “Sweetheart i remembered i had some important work to do today, i promise sex as soon as i return, till then wait for me and don’t forget to put that sexy lingerie we bought at La Senza, tonight it will be a long night just you and me and some mushy sex”. Ariadne knew those words would make Alexa beam with excitement and with that she went ahead to finish her important work.
She took out her car and sped on the highway, she was on her way to meet her mother. This thought came to her all of a sudden after a lapse of almost 10 years and she decided that she badly needed to meet her mother. Ariadne getting into a lesbian relationship was a decision that she took after the turmoils she was subjected to. At the age of 26, she was a matured and an independent woman whose life was heading in a direction she herself wasn’t sure about. But today she decided to claim her life back. Ariadne already knew that she was an orphan, and that it was beyond question to look out for her real parents at a time when her foster parents had become an integral part of her life. Though her relations were simply complicated with her parents than she would have assumed, but still she loved them a lot. When her boyfriend had left her after hearing what Ariadne was subjected to in her past, Ariadne did not know anything, it was her mother’s diary and the story inside that let her take the leap of faith and become a lesbian and she found Alexa, who deeply loved Ariadne and even Ariadne knew Alexa would never leave her ever, but despite that she was not happy. She was trying to figure out for so long that what it is that would make her happy. That is when she thought of visiting her mother for the last time.
She was going through a mixed chain of thoughts as to how her mother would react to her after seeing her after a gap of ten long years, what she would say. She was confused but still happy that she would be meeting her. So any thoughts coming to her about her mother turning unexpectedly to her did not bother Ariadne, as even the sight of her would calm her. It was a 4 hour long drive, and she finally reached, she was nervous with exicitement as she moved closer to her house. She was disappointed to see someone else greet her at the door. That was when she found that these new people have been living here for the past ten years. That is almost the time when she had left her mother. Ariadne was told, that the day she had left her mother, her mother was broken from inside, as Ariadne was all the hope she had in this world, she just wanted to tell her the truth about her orientation and how much she loved her, but back then Ariadne had taken it in a wrong way, just the way Ariadne’s boyfriend did when he heard about her mother. Thus her mother decided to end her grief, she opened her arms wide, opened her eyes, flashed a wide smile that hid a hint of happiness, guilt and extreme sadness, she was finally happy and was ready to take the leap of faith, hence she leapt. She leapt off the cliff that night, and embraced death as if it were the only thing that brought peace of mind to her. Ariadne’s mother had committed suicide ten years by jumping off that cliff.
It takes a Leap Of Faith to Know What We Want From Our Life!
Today, Ariadne and Alexa are married to each other and lead a happy life. Even though they are being looked down by the society, but they are happy with each other’s presence in their life. They haven’t separated since then, their trust in each other has made their bonds stronger. Ariadne realized the meaning of love is not merely loving someone because you are expected to be loving them, but loving someone by whose presence life would be filled with happiness and as far as expectations are concerned put them to rest, because where exepctations are, love cannot exist. Thus love is beyond human thinking, and it is all about staying happy with whoever it may be!
Lesbians For Life!