The Wingless Angel who owns my Heart


 I saw him every morning,

I saw him every night;

When I thought he wasn’t looking,

I feasted at his sight.

Tall and kind and charming,

He was the white knight;

A glance here, a smile there,

He made people swoon in joy.

Intelligent and hardworking,

Successful in work and life;

He was the perfect man,

In everyone’s eyes.

Oh, I have watched him grow from a boy,

Seen him stumble and jump and fly,

From the peripheries of his world in silence,

I have watched him all my life.

To him I was just a classmate,

Someone he hardly knew,

How I wished he could read people’s hearts as well,

Then he would know where my love flowed.

Not pretty enough to match him,

Not friend enough to openly say,

All I could do is love him,

In my own lonely silent way.

People say, love is blind,

Not the choice of a practical person,

I say, what different is love from hate,

If all you see is rhyme and reason?

He returned my love with simple memories,

Unknowingly playing his part,

I treasure those innocent joys of my life,

Along with the little memory,

Of the wingless angel who owns my heart.

This Charming Girl!


She is indeed charming!

Many a music for the soul,

and the folks, i enjoyed.

To my innocent memory, what

shall i pretend, that my gaze intend?

 

 

Saw the charm for the first time still savouring,

will i ever believe in magic?

Untimed destiny reveals it might be tragic.

Because what i long for, is this charming girl!

 

 

A certain place i recall where the dark of the night meets the light of the day

unto that horizon i make my way

She just loves to call it happy times,

I’d like to call it “I Love Us” the way we are.

 

 

If by any means The Smiths are the best indeed,

I believe am listening to them already, often enough which makes me smile.

Its so just that she loves their music,

what i talk about is this charming girl!

 

 

On her own all the times

not a clue what’s on her mind.

I think she wants to be discovered

her deepest thoughts to be uncovered.

 

 

Miracles never happen, they give way for co-incidences.

Fate then packs them in a bundle of events in life,

takes me away from this entire world in a whirl

the one i wish to be with is this charming girl!

 

 

On a happy summer evening at a park in New York,

we would meet someday like an answered prayer of an ageing woman,

gazing the city, she would figure out what she eventually desires.

She would smile and leave after a while, i guess now that she is happy.

 

 

Love is sometimes about knowing oneself before one figures out the other,

Disillusioned by the memories we ever had, i now realize, we were not meant to be,

To be there when you needed me, coz i was always there as i know you very well

For you, you were always to me is this charming girl!

Her memories would fade away eventually, but she would always for me remain............. this charming girl!

Love………Beyond The Horizon!


Is where Love and Happiness await me just beyond the horizon?

There is a saying, i initially used to believe it was kind of stupid, but when the incidents of the previous week went past me, i realized that it did make sense. Well the saying goes like this, “If you truly love someone set them free, if that person comes back to you, it was always your love, otherwise move on!”. Not exactly how the saying should have been, but today i can only hope that such a saying does exist and under some mysterious circumstances the person comes back to me. Anyways this time around am going to present a piece out of of my own life, and the moment went the earth stood still for me the day i spoke to her on the phone…………..

Its those moments when you find yourself wondering about something that you yourself aren’t sure of. Amidst the confusion a smile(sweet misery i’d call it) lands on my face and BANG! its the beginning of something which i would never have expected. Usually the kind of person i happened to be, i do not intend to read much into things possibly connected to love. So far never been in love, but honestly speaking had crushes, but for me Love was the big one and i waited until i actually felt it(you can’t hurry love, you just have to wait, you get it just in time no matter how long it takes). Well, then this must have been such a thing that i couldn’t help but write about it. Most certainly the person in question who was responsible for the kind of impact that dismantled my equilibrium isn’t even aware of it, not one bit. The best part is it all began when it was destined to end a few days after we spoke. So the best part is i haven’t yet seen her with my own pair of twin eyes(well including the spectacles ofcourse) the person whom i felt i knew for ages and unbelievably had a magical influence on me. The best part is she was 3 years older to me, in fact a reason that left me far behind the line where love could begin.

Just a simple co-incidence, that’s not how i would like to call our rendezvous. It was stupid, idiotic, crazy and all she could make out at the end of it was that i am weird(well that’s how i am). I was awestruck to hear her voice, it had a different kind of feel, tone and something which i never allowed to fall on my ears so long and so far.I immediately got a feeling where was she for such a long long time. We might have been complete strangers but my heart said we definitely had a connection. It wasn’t something that happens with me each time i speak to a girl or be it anyone i know or don’t know. This was something totally different, i haven’t yet been able to put it into proper words of what this undefined thing could be.

From what i could make, she just loved to talk, and talking was something i just loved. For a long while something of this magnitude hadn’t happened with me, and i was like what the FUCK happened to me now! Not complicating the situation any further, i realized that whatever this strong feeling for a total stranger whom i found so familiar with and also the one whom i haven’t seen cannot be LOVE! But the more i thought so, the more i fell for her.

This isn't the way its supposed to be when your in LOVE!

That is when after a couple of days we spoke for the second time and perhaps the last time, a duration of almost an hour seemed insufficient amount of time for me, as i wished i could go on and on, since i found her laughing, giggling and enjoying the length of our conversation. I could definitely do all i can to always achieve that feat that sees her away from the gloom she might have encountered. If that requires me to be weird, well am glad i am.

So far i was single & a happy-go-lucky kinda guy going smooth in life away from the sights of cupid. This time i felt she was the one for sure(i got this feeling before on one occasion, but later i laughed at myself since love had high regards for me, but she cannot be it, so better off i stayed away from such thought unless i was completely sure of). She was definitely someone i would want to spend the rest of my life with and that too happily. I still cannot explain the vibes i felt from her, it was something different, in totality all i can say is she gave me that particular feeling that i have never felt for anyone. I don’t know why despite not knowing or having seen her, i understood her so well, like i knew her for ages. I don’t know why but i realized that she had her own insecurities, she had her own world which rarely anybody could understand. It seriously didn’t matter to me to have not met her in person or to have witnessed as to how she might be looking like, all that made me the happiest person on the planet was the simple fact that i spoke to the person that i found exactly on the same page as of me. She was simple, i mean way way way way simple. I was like if there is someone i could do anything for, it would be her(alright lets face it on realistic and practical terms i can push my limits to achieve whatever that makes her smile and most importantly in return make me the happiest).

Well the time arrived where things had to end and the saying which i said in the beginning was to take its course. A mutual friend of ours(due to whom i was able to speak to her) who knew her for a longer time than me, called me up. She broke my heart as well saved me from getting deeper into something which had nothing for me. Since this was all about the effect of love on me for perhaps the first time, i am unable to let her reasons out in the open for everyone, as to why it all eventually had to end. That day i decided, i was not going to call her or even text her, more than it would have disappointed her it would have disappointed me. She still remains close to my heart, all i can say about the conversation i had with the mutual friend, was that i realized that she was extremely beautiful, and quite tall, and not only me any guy could fall in love with her at the sight of her. I then realized that i hadn’t even seen her. But now it still didn’t matter to me, the fact that how beautiful she might have been. She will be a sweet memory that is all i can say.

All i could still manage was to put a smile on my face, for the fact that at least i lived my dreams of hearing the voice of the person whom i would want to fall in love with. So what i couldn’t savor the beauty that she is. But i was happy that at least we spoke, not once but twice. Today it has been a week since i stopped texting or even called her. I know its no use, and i don’t regret. I still don’t know how she must have been, or whether she must have thought about me, i would have loved to see how she was, her eyes, her hair, her smile, her laughs, when she blushed, when she was angry. But i dearly wish that she is happy and want her dreams to see the light of the day.

There is no way, i am going to ever keep any contacts with her, because i realized, there was a certain level of discomfort in the whole thing. I have set her free, and just want her to be free,  free until she learns to fly and reaches her destination. As for me love is something i had never wanted to be in, as i thought it was love, i realized it was beyond the horizon……… Fare thee well……!!!

All i wanted to tell you, but could not!

Magic in the Air!


Dream and believe in magic

MAGIC IN THE AIR

 Just recently, I chanced hearing an interesting conversation in the first class ladies compartment of an afternoon Virar local. I was on my way back home from college, and observing people around me, in the not-so-crowded compartment, was a subconscious habit.

The conversation involved a woman and a girl of about six, and the two were seated from across me. While the woman was busy leafing through a magazine, the girl was engrossed in her book. I noticed she was reading Cinderella. I returned to the world of Cinderella, my mind wandering through the story. It always felt nice to go back to something that you enjoyed as a child. But my wandering ended abruptly when I heard the girl close the book with a thud and call the woman.

“Mama…”

The woman’s eyes left the magazine for a moment and she looked at her daughter. “Yes, sweetie?”

“Do I have a Fairy-Godmother?” the girl asked, her voice unsteady with nervousness and excitement.

Every girl wanted to believe she was gifted, special, and that there was a Prince Charming who would keep her happy in a Fairy-tale kingdom. Anyone who gets too engrossed in a story begins seeing the real world through different eyes. They start believing that imaginary things exist in reality, and they wish that something unusual would happen to them as well.

I have been through this stage before, and seeing someone else pass through it amused me, lighting my face with a faint smile, as I watched the mother-daughter pair.

“Such things exist only in stories,” the woman said firmly. “Read the story, but don’t believe any of those things. There are no fairy godmothers or magic slippers.” And then she went back to reading her magazine.

The girl looked like she would cry. It was obvious she was hurt by her mother’s words. Of course, it is perfectly understandable for parents to teach their children that fantasies don’t exist in the real. But at times, it is best to let them believe in the impossible. If children can’t even believe that magic does exist and miracles do happen, they will never want to try accomplishing the impossible as they grow up.

What’s the big harm in letting them believe that Fairy-Godmothers and magical kingdoms do exist? They would have enough sense to distinguish between the real and the imaginary as they grow up. Why steal these simple joys of childhood by declaring that those magical things don’t exist?

I felt bad for the girl and wondered if I should say something to cheer her up, but felt unsure if her mother would approve of me telling her that magic does exist. While I debated over this, the girl spoke again.

“Mama?”

“What is it now?” the woman asked with sigh. She looked at her daughter over the top of her magazine.

The girl looked more nervous under her mother’s strict gaze.

The woman smiled seeing her discomfort and patted her daughter’s hand. “What is it, sweetie?” she repeated in a gentler voice.

“Is magic real?” the girl asked gazing expectantly at her mother’s face.

“well…” the woman hesitated, as if debating on what to say to her daughter. “Magic is well not magic…” she said thinking hard.

The girl’s brows knitted in confusion.

The woman sighed. “Magic is just a very well performed trick.”

“Trick?”

“Yes, trick. You have seen a magician wearing a black cloak pull out a bunny rabbit from his tall hat, haven’t you?”

“yes.”

“well, the bunny rabbit doesn’t come out of the hat just like that. The magician puts it in there before he comes on stage to perform his trick.”

The girl stared at her mother in an expression close to disbelief.

“So magic is nothing but a trick used to fool us,” her mother concluded with a confident nod of her head.

“But the Fairy-Godmother doesn’t pull out a bunny rabbit!” the girl protested.

The woman smiled and ruffled the girl’s hair. “That’s because Fairy-Godmother is a part of the story and she does what the writer makes her do. That’s why she can turn a pumpkin into carriage and mice into horses or give new clothes to Cinderella with just a wave of her wand.”

The little girl looked dejected. “So I don’t have a Fairy-Godmother?”

The woman ruffled her daughter’s hair again, laughing. “You have me, don’t you?” she said. “Why do you need a Fairy-Godmother?”

I watched the girl’s expression carefully and noticed that she was disappointed.

It sure is hard on a child, when she is forced to accept something she doesn’t want to believe in. But its even more difficult, when someone else shatters the illusion created by the child’s beliefs, in an attempt to let their mind mature faster. Why cant people just let children live their childhood in these fantasy illusions? God is the Creator, the Source of everything, the One who watches over every little part of his creation. A Fairy Godmother is a Good Soul or a kind-hearted Fairy who watches over humans and nature. So, isn’t Fairy Godmother just a variation of the term God?

The conversation ended there, but my chain of thoughts continued.

Why is it that people don’t think magic existed? Of course magic exists. We see it every day, and yet we find it hard to believe. Every living moment of our life is a miracle and yet people don’t see it for what it is. I have often wondered why is it so that people pray to God for miracles to happen and yet when they see a miracle happen, they doubt its integrity. People tend to approach miracles and anything connected to magic or the supernatural with scientific analysis. When people don’t take the initiative to find out how any gadget functions, why do they desire to know how a miracle is caused? If they can accept the gadgets without knowing much about how it functions and why it functions the way it does, why cant they simply accept magic and miracles and appreciate its beauty?

To search for the source of magic is different from analyzing its authenticity using science. Its high time people start accepting the fact, that there are many things scientific analysis cannot answer.

Magic does exist. Miracles do happen.

Ever seen a flower bud blossom into a flower? A dew drop cascading down a leaf? A newborn child closing its fingers around its mother’s one finger?

If that isn’t magic, then what is?

But people hardly take time out to observe these things. In this busy super-fast paced life, people hardly find time to observe these miracles that happen around them. How many people have spent time watching a caterpillar evolve into a butterfly or gazing at the monsoon sky for a rainbow? How many people take time to enjoy a leisure walk among trees, breathing in the pure oxygen that they exhale and appreciating the green beauties of nature?

Nature is full of magic and miracles. A gigantic tree grows from a tiny seed, this tree flowers, bears fruits and lives on for a great number of years. Nature is always a riot of colors and it changes its form and color with the change of every season. This is what magic is.

People believe that prayers help save a dying soul, and that prayers have the power to influence one’s present and the future. People pray to God believing in the Divine Being to grant them their wishes. Is this not believing in miracles and magic? So if people can accept the fact that God exists, then they can very well accept that everything created by Him is magic and all wishes granted by Him are miracles.

Magic is not what magicians do onstage. What they do is create an illusion to entertain the audience. Magic is what everyone sees but no one recognizes and believes.

Gazing at the star studded sky with fluffs of clouds, the feeling of raindrops on one’s face, the whispering of trees in the wind, laughter of children filling one’s ears, the chirping of birds, the moon bathing the world in its silvery light, the glowing sunset painting the world in orange while sinking into the sea, the fragrance of wet soil and every other thing we experience is pure magic.

It is time grown-ups understand this fact. They should remember that they too believed in these fantasies during their childhood. Without a magical dream to lose ourselves into, life would be really monotonous and work, a burden. To believe in the little miracles of nature, in the little fantasies of children, to live in a world born of our own imagination when reality gets too tiring or dull, is how we can make life on earth exciting, worth living.

And the sooner people realize and understand this truth, the sooner they will experience every miracle that life provides.

All people need to remember is that ‘Life is Magic and Living Life to its Fullest is a Miracle’. And they can begin this by first believing in their Fairy Godmother.